The Antidote free essay sample

Every limb in my body turns rock hard, rigid, unable to move. My body is crumbling, falling to pieces, while I stand back and watch. Sick loneliness washes over me, darkening my once happy facade. Feeling weak and vulnerable, tears escape like prisoners from the corners of my eyes. I want to climb back into the womb and take comfort in the safety I once felt there. Masking my emotions, repeating to myself, lying to myself, I repeat silently: â€Å"I don’t care, I don’t care anymore.† I hate myself; I don’t understand myself. She’s my little sister and she’s broken yet I want to strangle her, and yell at her? Am I giving up on my best friend? It feels as if my hands and feet are bound together and my mouth glued shut but my eyes remain wide-open – watching her life crumble before me. I stand, observing, full of rage, confused at what has developed within her. We will write a custom essay sample on The Antidote or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page I am trapped in my sister’s world, not able to do one damn thing. I blame myself – I am older and should be the person full of wisdom, capable of helping. But at the same time, deep down inside, I know the fault isn’t mine but in a weird way, I wish that it was. I wish I could be blamed for her crisis so that I would be capable of producing an antidote. Dropping her off at school, I ask the same questions: â€Å"Are you sad?† â€Å"Did you take anything?† â€Å"Do you have anything with you?† Sun streaming down as her eyes swallow the light, she glances down quickly before looking me in the face, eyes squinting: â€Å"No.† Slowly turning towards the school, she looks back: â€Å"I hate school.† Around 2 PM that day, I receive a phone call. She’s done it again. She’s in the hospital and they might take her away again. She looked me straight in the face, and I was stupid enough to believe her. Emotions bubble to the surface. On the verge of tears, I answer: â€Å"Ok, I’ll be there.† I used to care. I used to care about everything. Ten months ago, my life, my world was happy, blissfully happy. I was involved in clubs, I did all of my homework – I loved school. How can I devote my energy to school when my personal life is shattering to pieces? Calculus, essays – how can I think about finding the area under a curve or criticizing a critical essay when she’s not the same? Pulling aside the thin paper curtains, I peek in and see her, black covering her lips – it’s the charcoal. Only ten months ago, my sister, my partner-in-crime, was a bouncy bubbly teen. I want to pretend that I can go on living life as if nothing has happened that she’ll make the right choices but I’m afraid of leaving her. My biggest challenge lives within me and I still haven’t found the antidote.